October 31st, 2010 - Halloween 2

This is it, the end. I've got to be honest with everyone, I was kind of looking forward to the end of this all week. Feeling a bit burnt out, the strain of making the time every day to watch a movie and write a review was getting to me. That said, now that it's here, I'm sad to see it go. The challenge was a lot of fun, and I hopefully grew a bit as a writer during all of this. Now this isn't the end. This whole twisted idea was to motivate me to write a blog more regularly, and I think it did the trick. It won't be daily, but hopefully weekly, I'll have a review or a opinion to share with everyone. Now, on to the movie.

Now you know I had to review a Halloween movie today. It's a law or something. I suppose I should specify that this is Rob Zombie's Halloween 2, not Carpenters. And I have to say, I really like this flick, which is surprising because I really didn't like his Halloween remake. It seems that Zombie is really good at sequels, but not quite so hot at setting up a universe. Look at House of a 1000 Corpses. It's a decent movie, but not that great. Certainly not worth all the hype it got before release. The Devil's Rejects, however, was fucking awesome. It was like a wrong version of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, complete with ending freezeframe. It just makes the wait for Werewolf Women of the SS 2 that much harder.

So after the events of the first film, Laurie is traumatized and living with friends. Loomis has struck gold with an exploitative memoir of his relationship with Michael. And Michael himself is dead, though his body has gone missing. Bad things happen soon after. The thing is, it's not really a slasher. It's more cerebral and weird than that. More of this movie takes place in the dream world than Inception, and Michael is painted as a more sympathetic character than most. It's an interesting take on the character, and one that isn't trying to be anything like the original continuty. I thought it was great.

It's also a very different style than anything that came before it. It feels almost more like a 70's giallo film. Primary colours are everywhere, and different colour filters and lights are in almost every shot. It also has some of the best shot composition Zombie's ever done. I've said it before that more horror films need to strive to be beautiful, and this is very nearly that.

The acting is also excellent. Malcolm McDowell as Loomis stands out especially in my mind. His character is wracked by guilt by everything that has happened, but refuses to acknowledge it. Instead, he focuses on his book, and trying to dodge criticism from all sides. It's fascinating to watch.

I know this movie is pretty despised in most circles, and I get that. It's very weird, you could argue it doesn't make much sense, and it feels very different from all that came before it. I don't nessesarily think that's always a bad thing, though. It defied expectations, and did some very interesting things. It may have failed at some of them, but it's always interesting to watch. There is a shortage of really excellent kills though. Most of them are just Michael stabbing someone over and over with a very large knife, which is a shame. The sound design does sell the brutality of it.

Halloween 2 is, in my opinion, a very cool film. Most people don't like it, and you probably won't either, but it should be seen. If only to judge for yourselves. And with that, I'm done. The sick thing is, I may be watching another movie tomorrow. I may have a few things to say about it. In any case, I will be back sooner than you know. Happy Halloween!

October 30th, 2010 - Inside

Alright, so this is the first time I've blogged drunk. I saw The Social Network and it seemed to work out okay for Mark Zuckerberg. Also, Zuckerberg is apparently not in the dictionary on Facebook, which is hilarious. Almost as hilarious as Facebook not being in the dictionary. Wow, this went on a tangent quickly. Hurm, on to the movie.

Inside is freaking awesome. Bloody and mean and funny. To condense the story more than I usually do. Pregnant woman loses husband in car accident. Another woman decides she wants the baby. Night before C-section, other woman shows up with pair of scissors. Bad things happen. Very bad things....

This is an unpleasant movie. Gruesome things happen to pretty much everyone who gets screentime. On the plus side, the less time you have on screen before your death, the faster it takes to die. That said, there is a certain elegance and humor to most of the kills that make them much more palatable. You have to have a very dark sense of humour, but most of the deaths are kind of funny.

It's also very well shot. It all takes place inside the main character house. There are no exterior shots, no glimpses of anything beyond what we see. It's terrifying and claustrophobic and is done all so well. They went out of their way to think of creative ways to shoot the same, very small, bathroom and shoot it well. This is some of the best cinematography I've seen, horror film or not.

The acting is very good. I could nitpick the smaller roles, especially the cops that come later on in the proceedings. The two main actresses are outstanding. The killer especially, played by Beatrice Dalle. I didn't recognize her as the blind woman from the Paris segment of Night on Earth until just now. Makes me wonder where casting directors have been all this time.

Inside is a harrowing ride, and probably the best of the recent French new wave of horror. Martyrs, Frontiers, even High Tension are all just pretenders to the throne. A great example with what can be done with a small budget and some creativity, it needs to be seen by all self-respecting horror fans at once.

October 29th, 2010 - Near Dark

This is going to be a short one, so all apologies. It's rather late, and I've got to be up early and then have a ZWA screening to attend, and then a Halloween party, a wife to kill and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped. This is another classic one, which is a bit boring to read I know but not to worry. Rather late tomorrow night, I've got something no one here has seen, guaranteed.

Near Dark is what Twilight wishes so hard it was. A heartfelt vampire love story with cool characters, loads of action and some great cinematography. It's not quite as good as Let The Right One In, but it tries damned hard. And it reunites 3 of the best actors from Aliens, so bonus.

Caleb is a nice, regular teenager living in a tiny Southern town with a truck and only stop traffic light to slow him down. One night, he spies a new girl in town and decides to work his magic. They hit it off, and she too, decides to work her magic. With her teeth. Caleb tries to bolt, but doesn't get too far in the rising sun. He gets picked up by the clan of vampires and is slowly shown their ways. Along the way, Caleb and May fall in love, and Caleb's father and little sister go looking for him.

This is a damned good looking film. Gorgeous shots of the Southwest are the order of the day. Probably because this wasn't quite the movie the director set out to make. Most people know Kathryn Bigelow for last year's Hurt Locker or maybe Point Break, but this may be her finest work. She set out trying to make a Western, but when funding fell through, she reworked the project to include vampires, which were in high demand in the late 80's.

She also gets great performances from everyone involved. And I'm not just talking about Lance Henrickson, Bill Paxton and Jeanette Goldstein. Even Adrain Pasdar, as Caleb, does stronger work than Heroes would lead you to believe. The child actors are the weakest link, but I never wanted to stab any of them, which is a step in the right direction.

Man, it seems like every time I say I'm going to write a short review I ramble on and on. Near Dark deserves to be talked about though. It respects the vampire mythology, adds some twists of its own, has fun, and looks fucking amazing doing it. And it has Bill Paxton in full-blown psycho mode. Bonus.

October 28th, 2010 - Phantasm

Wow, only 3 days left. And I haven't gotten near everything I wanted to watch done yet. Guess I'll have to do this more regularly. Also, you may have noticed I haven't done my live blogging of the Saw movies yet. There is a good cause for this, which will be revealed shortly. Let's just say that it will three times as awesome now. Approximately.

This is another film I haven't seen for ages. I remember it being way scarier that it was. I also remember it being way less trippy. Jody is looking after this little brother Mike after their parents die. Mike is paranoid of Jody leaving him and follows him everywhere. Meanwhile, the town's citizens are dying mysteriously and Mike starts to suspect that the Tall Man who works in the mortuary in responsible. He starts to investigate and of course, bad things happen.

This is a really bizarre movie. Like Demons it follows it's own sort of internal logic and feels very dreamlike as a result. Not a whole lot is properly explained either, which just adds to the effect. The acting is pretty good, with the standout being Angus Scrimm as the The Tall Man. The effect is lessened because I met Angus Scrimm a few years ago and he is rather short. Like, a good foot shorter than me. So that was a huge disappointment which kind of tainted the film for me. Le sigh.

The director, Don Coscarelli, is probably more well known these days for his film Bubba Ho-tep. It's a bit of a shame, because as awesome as that movie is, Phantasm really deserves to be better know. And for more than those awesome flying silver balls that fuck you up. Those stand the test of time, but the movie surrounding them is pretty badass too. Definitely a great one to watch if you're young and impressionable and are just getting into horror but are bored with all the Friday's and Nightmare. It's a strange, cerebral trip, and one worth taking.

October 27th, 2010 - Rosemary's Baby

I can't believe I haven't seen this before. I'm a huge Polanski fan, I love Satanism, and I adore evil children movies. One of those things makes me a bad person, but I'll leave it to you to decide which. I also really like John Cassavetes, because he made dying of alcoholism looks damned cool. So the fact that it took me 25 years to see this movie is kind of shameful.

Rosemary and Guy are a nice young couple who have recently moved into a gorgeous New York apartment. Their friend, Hutch, warns them of the dark history the building has, but they pay no mind. Guy is a struggling actor while Rosemary is a housewife that seems keen on the whole reproducing thing. Soon after they move in they meet their new neighbors, a pleasant elderly couple. Guy becomes close of them and eventually gets his big break. It was at the expense of the original actor going blind suddenly, but show biz is tough. Afterwards, Guy decides the time is right to have a baby. When they try to conceive though, Rosemary gets faint and has all kind of wacky fever dreams about naked old people and congress with the Devil. The next day she's pregnant. Bad things happen.

This is a damned creepy movie. I mean that, it's really unsettling. It moves slow, but Polanski uses that to wring every bit of tension from the premise he can. You're never quite sure whether Rosemary is just freaking out because of the pregnancy or if there is actually a plot against her. And the ending is fantastic. You couldn't get away with something like that in a big studio film nowadays. Which is probably why this one has remained untouched by the remake hounds in Hollywood.

The acting is all fantastic. I have to admit, I haven't seen Mia Farrow in much. After this though, I'm tempted to seek more stuff out. And she's adorable with her short hair. John Cassavetes is cooler than cool, of course. And Ruth Gordon is great as the Satanic neighbor who only wants the best for Romemary. It's a class act.

I wish they would keep making movies like this in Hollywood. Tentpole horror, treated seriously and with a budget. Horror needs to get out of the realm of the low budget tax write off it's stuck in. I'm sure most of you have already seen this, but if you haven't please check it out. Remind yourself how great studio films used to be, and how horror used to be more than a low risk, high reward investment. And it's bloody scary to boot.

October 26th, 2010 - Demons

This was a tough call. I watched a few different horror flicks today, and it was a toss up. I ultimately chose Demons though because it's easily the least known, and I had never seen all of it before. Bits and pieces here and there. Late night TV or clips in some montage. I always like finding something new and passing it on, even if its something as cultish as Demons.

It all takes place at a film premiere at an old cinema. It's a fairly packed house watching the film, which deals with demon possession, Nostradamus, and a creepy metal mask. Funnily enough, there is an identical mask in the lobby of the theater. A girl tries it on and ends up cutting herself. Bat things happen. Demons slowly start taking over all the cinema-goers, all the exits are bricked off, and all survivors are trapped on the balcony.

This is, objectively, not the best movie. The acting is mediocre at best and the dubbing is hilariously bad. Not that the dialogue is anything special. Thing happen for no real reason, not much is explained, and it end with the most out there deus ex machina I've seen. Elitist film lovers be warned, you will not like this.

This is, in my opinion however, a bloody awesome movie. All of the negatives I listed above just aid in it's nightmare like atmosphere. It's really well shot, and the lighting is amazing. Bava was wearing his Dario Argento association on his sleeve throughout, and it helps the movie in all the right ways. The kills are awesome, and plentiful. There's a particularly nasty one involving two pieces of metal rebar that had everyone cheering. The movie takes some wild twists, and it does feel like anything could happen.

Like I said, this is certainly not for everyone. And those who will like it have probably seen it by now. That said, if you like over the top horror movies, and are willing to buy it's dream logic, it doesn't get much more fun than Demons

October 25th, 2010 - Hunger

Well, this was a pisser of a day. My internet is out for most of it, and then Rob Ford gets elected mayor. At least the movie was pretty god, right? Perhaps not.

It's not a bad movie. It's actually a pretty sweet premise. 5 strangers are kidnapped and locked in a cave at the bottom of a well. They have plenty of water, but no food. They do, however, have a scalpel and it doesn't look like the door will open for another month or so. Bad things happen. It's a cool premise, ripe for all sort of moral grey areas and gore. The kidnapper's motivation is interesting as well. It seem plausible, and was unsettling in it's own right.

Problem is that once they set everything up, they do nothing with it. The characters are all one-note and predictable. There's the jerk, the hero, the survivor girl, the innocent and the wild card. Except for one character dying slightly earlier than I expected to, there were no real surprises. It also doesn't help that not one of the characters are likable or relatable in any way. Now, part of this is due to the reason they were all brought together. It's a neat idea which I won't ruin here, but it throws our sympathies from the moment we find out. In many ways, it puts us in the killer's shoes, which should be an interesting place to be, or at least an uncomfortable one. The filmmakers find that perfect place, though, between keeping him vague and defining his personality that we can't project ourselves on to him, or for him to be a well rounded character. It's a shame.

It also put me off right from the start with an opening which is almost entirely in darkness. Again, I feel that they were trying to put us in the characters situation, but ended up just pissing me off. It just came across as being badly underlit. It's a shame, because the actors are all pretty solid. Like I said, they don't have a lot to work with, but they all try their best. And it has Linden Ashby, who's fucking badass, as anyone who saw Mortal Kombat will attest. It's a shame, really. This should have been awesome. The idea was there, the cast was there, they money was there. The script and the director dropped the ball.

Hunger is worth a look. It's part of the Fangoria Frightfest lineup that came out last month. This is the first I've seen, and I'm curious enough to see more. Throw it on in the middle of a movie marathon, and you won't remember it in the morning, but it'll make for some fun drunken moral debating the night of.

October 24th, 2010 - The Horde

This movie is pretty fucking awesome. It hasn't done anything I haven't seen before, but rarely done this well. It's fast paced, violent and funny. It's pretty much like someone decided to make Left4Dead the movie, but couldn't get the rights. And made it in French. And arguably more badass.

So just before the movie starts, a cop is killed. A small group of police from his district decide to get revenge on the Nigerian crimelord that killed him. Oeuss, our hero, wants justice but isn't quite as bloodthirsty and everyone else. They track the crimelord to an old condemned apartment building in the north of Paris and quickly fuck up. They are captured and tortured by Ade, the crimelord, his unstable younger brother and their drug supply. Then things get real. Turns out Paris is in the middle of a full blown zombie outbreak and none of our heroes were told. After a few zedheads cut our cast list in half, cops and criminals have to team up to work their way down to ground level and try to escape.

With the exception of some irritating handheld shots and that irksome MTV editing, this is a great looking movie. The gore is fantastic, though they do lean on the CG crutch a bit too often. It's subtle though and done well enough that I can forgive it. There is one shot near the end in a parking garage that is probably one of the coolest hero moments I've seen all year. All of the characters are great too. From Oeuss's withdrawn hero to Ade's temper and need for control and everyone in between, I liked them all. The acting is fantastic across the board. And there is a good amount of characters in the movie, which is great cause it ensures a nice, high body count.

I also have to shout out the zombie/cop cat fight that takes place right after the outbreak. It's probably only second to They Live for best fight this month. It goes on forever, and goes to some ludicrous places. And it involves a fridge. Which is awesome.

Like I said, The Horde doesn't reinvent anything. It won't surprise you with plot twists or drastically change zombie movies. You've seen this before. But I guarantee you haven't seen it with badass French dudes fucking up the zombies with homemade explosives. It was everything Evil In The Time Of Heroes should have been. Though that one had Billy Zane, so maybe it's a toss up...

October 23rd, 2010 - Sex and the City 2

Well, this wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's actually a bit better than the first movie. Not much better, mind. And no where near as good as the best of the show. I did laugh out loud a good half dozen times though. That is about the only nice thing about this movie, though.

It's the show, only far less witty, and set in Abu Dhabi. Carrie is starting to get bored with her marriage, Charlotte is stressed about her kids and her hot new nanny, Miranda is stressed about work, and Samantha is stressed about menopause and getting older. Cue many cocktails and whining conversation peppered with puns and the occasional legitimately funny line. Eventually, Samantha gets them all a trip to Abu Dhabi, where they all learn a valuable lesson. Except Samantha, because she's cool like that.

The biggest problem is that it's all so unneeded. The show wrapped everything up perfectly. The first movie was terrible mostly because it tainted our final memories of the four. At least in this one, it's almost a parody of that. Random attractive men show up for no reason in, quite literally, the middle of nowhere. The plot is secondary to getting the women to beautiful location and shooting them wearing very expensive clothes. Miranda and Charlotte's arcs are just slightly reworked rehashes of what we've seen before. The biggest problem facing these women is stagnation. Stagnation in their lives, their careers, their families. And the movie itself continues this. These are the same characters we've seen for over 10 years. Nothing substantial has changed for most of them. And the films just demonstrate, beyond a doubt, that nothing will change.

Also, the film has the song Single Ladies. I hate that song. I hate it when Beyonce sings it. I hated it when Justin Timberlake sang it on SNL. I hated it when one of the Jonas brothers did it. I even hated it when they did it on Glee. It is not a good song. It's boring, irritating, and is borderline sexist. I want a moratorium called on this song ever appearing in anything ever again. Fuck that song.

This is a surprisingly benign review. I was expecting to tear this movie apart. I just really feel kind of sorry for it. Sex and the City has grown up and became lame, boring, stagnant. If you're a fan of the show, you'll probably feel obliged to watch this. If you felt burned by the first movie, this is slightly better. Just don't expect it to make you a convert if you didn't like what came before it.

October 22, 2010 - Killer Klowns From Outer Space

This is the second best low budget horror movie where the main characters are named Mike and Dave I've ever seen. I remember catching bits and pieces of this movie on TV throughout the years, but this is the first time I sat down and watched it from beginning to end, and I have to say, it's a blast.

It is set in the sleepy town of Crescent Cove, a stereotypically nice small town. One night, a shooting star lands in a field, and some teenagers go to investigate. Once they get there though, the realize it's actually a circus tent shaped spacecraft filled with Killer Klowns and bad things happen. The Klowns need humans for food and they quickly lay waste to the town. It's up to our young heroes to save the day and not get turned into cotton candy.

This is not a very good movie. The acting is terrible and the writing is even worse. The production design and sheer originality make up for it. The mythology is well thought out and interesting. And the design of the Klowns is sweet. The extent to which they push the whole circus thing is admirable as well. Popcorn guns, people turning into cotton candy, killer shadow puppets. It's all really cool. It is a bit long though, even at 86 minutes. With a better cast, and a tighter script, this could have been a genuinely excellent short film.

This is going to be another short review, but only because there isn't a lot to say. You should know just from the title whether or not this is a movie for you. You've probably already seen it, in fact. But if you haven't, and you're a fan of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and its ilk, this cannot be recommended enough. Check it out!

October 21st, 2010 - Lake Placid 3

Full disclosure; I never saw Lake Placid 2. So if there is something I'm missing, and this is actually the greatest film trilogy since the OT. Somehow I doubt it. This is not a good movie, which is nice because I'm been itching to sink my teeth into something like this for a week.

Stupid people live in a small town near a lake. In the lake is a bunch of very hungry crocodiles. Other stupider people are vacationing near the lake. And the stupidest person of them all has just hired a group of poachers (!) to help track his estranged girlfriend who happens to be with the vacationers. Bad things happen. Very poorly rendered bad things.

The effects in this movie are horrendous. Like, worst CG ever. The crocodiles looks pretty bad, but they do no fit into the environment at all. The shadows don't work, they don't interact with anything in the environment. Its like they dropped the crocs on top of the footage and decided they were done. It's ugly, and would be enough to sink the movie. Luckily they don't bear the full brunt of my annoyance.

The actors are all terrible. Even Michael Ironside, the most recognizable face here, is phoning it in. The dialogue is laughable and the characters themselves are all unlikable. There's no gore to speak of, and what is there is terrible CG red smears. The entire thing looks like it was shot on a Handycam and the entire thing feels lifeless. There are no scares, no thrills. It commits the gravest sin of bad movies. It's just plain boring.

To be fair though, the beginning is kind of alright. There is some really gratuitous nudity and a couple of moments that are so over the top, I got a little excited for what I was about to watch. No such luck, the movie never reaches that height again. No matter how low that height really was.

Lake Placid 3 is not the worst movie I've ever seen. It's not even the worst movie I've seen in the past month. It's pretty darn close though. And I have a feeling that one of this weekends movie's will easily supplant it. But don't take that to mean that it'll be okay if you watch it. It won't be. Don't support bad DTV horror, it just makes it worse for everyone.

October 20th, 2010 - Pet Semetary

Oof, it's rather late, so apologies for the short review. I refuse to miss even one day! Luckily, I don't have a lot to say about Pet Semetary. It's one of those movies everyone raves about when they are a teenager, saying its the scariest things ever. I haven't heard that from too many adults though. Now I know why, it's pretty mediocre. That is, until the end credits, but I'll get to that later.

The Creeds are pretty normal family moving in to a great old house in the country. Behind the house is a pet cemetery, and behind that is an old Micmac burial ground with strange powers. In front of the house is a highway where large semis go by very quickly. The Creeds have a cat, and two small children. Bad things happen. That isn't to say interesting things happen though.

I was honestly pretty bored by the whole thing. I guessed most everything that was going to happen well before I was supposed to. The acting is pretty stiff, especially the children. The screenplay, by Stephen King, is alright, but tends to stay a bit too loyal to the book. King's novel often have all sorts of subplots and side stories and character backstories, which while sometimes fascinating to read, just detract from the movie.

There are also some weird decisions from a technical viewpoint. When one of the children die, they cut away to a bloody shoe rolling across the pavement. Which is all well and good, very effective. But then it cuts to the father falling and screaming and then overlays family photos over top of the shto with the scream lingering in the background. I get what they were going for, but it jsut felt awkward.

On to the good. It's an 80's movie. And like all good 80's movies it has an awesome theme song with the same name. In this case , by the Ramones. It's catchy, silly, cheesy and awesome. I actually sat through the entire end credits so I could listen to it. It's wicked.

All told, this is one classic horror movie that doesn't really deserve to be. That said though, it seems to scare the crap out of teenagers and little kids, which is always a good thing. Rent it for a little sibling, but for a vintage Stephen King adaptation, stick to The Shining.

October 19th, 2010 - Beetlejuice

There's nothing quite like a good Tim Burton movie. Certainly his recent films have been nothing like them. It's no secret that me and him haven't been getting along so well the past, er, 10 years. It's a shame, because his classic stuff is just that. And his modern stuff is a random grab bag of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and daddy issues. Which is why Beetlejuice is one of my favourites.

It had been a while since I've seen this one. Not quite as long as Creepshow 2 or The Hills Have Eyes, but a few years at least. And it holds up. At this rate, I feel like I need to go out of my way to see something terrible. Though last time I went down that route I saw The Rig. Fuck that movie.

Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis play a young couple who die in a terrible car accident in the first 5 minutes of the movie. They get home and slowly realize the predicament they are in. Annoying New Yorkers have bought their house and and are turning it into an art deco nightmare. Desperate, they turn to a professional bio-exorcist to get rid of the living and spend the next 125 years of their afterlife in peace and quiet. Naturally, bad things happen.

Michael Keaton played Beetlejuice and it's easily one of his best performances. It makes me sad that he hasn't really done anything in the past few years. Then I remember Post-Grad, and I get sadder. He's manic, rude and hilarious. Virtually everything he says is a classic line. Baldwin and Davis as the newlydeads are almost as good. Though, really, the entire cast is gold. There is a wonderful chemistry running through this film and even the bit parts are golden.

This was a perfect fit for Burton. He did not write the screenplay, which I'm sure did wonders, and the style is unique and inventive, the best of Burton without all the wankery and self indulgence of recent years. I just love the way everything looks and moves. It also has awesome stop motion, so bonus.

Beetlejuice is (yet) another fun Halloween movie. It's not scariest thing you'll see this season but it's always good to revisit an old classic. Especially one that keeps getting every time you see it.

October 18, 2010 - Creepshow 2

This was the second horror movie I ever saw. The first was Sleepwalkers, which I haven't seen since. I'm curious to see if it lives up to my memory. Or at the very least, the corncob kill is just as badass. But I digress. Creepshow 2 is a great, creepy and funny little movie in the vein of EC Comics. Which is awesome. More movies need to take cues from EC Comics, in my humble opinion. Heck, that was one of the best parts of Altitude.

It's an anthology film (and one of the biggest inspirations for The Last) with a nifty connecting story between each segment. It's got that great hyper-emotive animation style where all the character's faces contort wildly as they speak. This boy runs afoul of bully's and gets chased to an abandoned lot. Bad things happen. It's cute and has a great ending and is a great filler between the actual stories.

The first segment is called Old Chief Woodenhead. An elderly couple own a general store in a town that's dying. The wife wants to leave, but the husband is committed to the town, and to his Indian statue that stands in front. A Native chief that owes the couple some money gives them some precious jewelry as collateral, but that night the chief's nephew comes looking for it. Things don't go well, and soon something is hunting down the nephew and his accomplices. This segment has the best acting of the bunch. You really feel for the old couple, especially the husband. The nephew is a perfectly hateable jerk who gets what's coming to him. The special effects are solid, and there is some sweet gore. A good way to start things off.

The second segment, The Raft, was my favourite when I first saw it. It was gross, scary and had boobs. Looking back on it, it's still my favourite. It's gross, scary and has boobs. Four college kids drive out to a lake in the middle of nowhere to go swimming. Once they're there though, they find a weird oil slick in the water that eats a bird soon after they get there. Thing is, they are stuck on the raft and aren't so sure they can outswim it. The acting is atrocious, and none of the characters are likable. This would be a problem in a longer story or a feature, but here it just makes they're inevitable messy demise that much sweeter. It's got some great blood and kills, and is my personal favourite.

The third segment is titled The Hitchhiker, and is probably the weakest. A woman drives home to her husband after having an affair and hits a hitchhiker on the side of the road. Panicking, she drives off and convinces herself that no one saw. It isn't long though before the hitchhiker comes back for revenge. The lengths the woman goes to get rid of the unwanted passenger are hilarious in a Looney Tunes kind of way and this is probably the bloodiest of the bunch. What I hate though, is the woman constantly talking to herself, spelling out her inner monologue. She's not a good enough actress to pull it off, and it quickly becomes grating. That said, it's still a lot of fun, and is easily the most quotable.

Creepshow 2 is a fun, creepy ride that fits perfectly into the Halloween season. I actually prefer it a bit to the first one, which is strange because I'm a Romero fanboy. Blood, boobs, laughs, gore and puns. What more do you need?

October 17, 2010 - The Hills Have Eyes

Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes is rightly revered as a classic. It was only his second film, and leaps and bound ahead of his debut The Last House on the Left. Taking the same basic concept of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre from a few years previous, and upping and ante by making the victims a close knot family, Craven delivered a harrowing, brutal movie that stands the test of time.

I hadn't seen this movie in over 10 years, and when I did last see it, it was a badly censored TV screening. I had no idea how grimy and nasty this movie really was. It's a step up from Texas Chain Saw Massacre in that it doesn't feel like a snuff film, but it's still a dark, rough peice of work. The Carter family is driving to California for a vacation. And I mean the entire family. Father, mother, son, daughters, son in law, and granddaughter. They get turned around in the Nevada desert with their camper and end up crashing a little close to an old Air Force nuclear testing site. Naturally, bad things happen.

After the two older men go off looking for help, the family dogs run away. And that's when we meet the titular 'eyes'. Turns out there are a family of surprisingly organized mutants living in these parts, and they haven't had a proper meal in ages. Cut a long and unpleasant assault on the family's trailer. To say anymore would be a crime.

Wes Craven definitely came into his own with his second feature. Gone is the awkward comedy and shifting tones of The Last House on the Left. Hills moves very quickly and never lightens the mood, which makes it oppressive and hard to watch. He takes his time with each shot, letting the landscape fill the screen and establishes the geography of the desert. The gore, while mostly off-screen, is also well done.

The actors all do the job. None of them do stellar work, but they all sell the situation they find themselves in. This is partly due to Craven's script. The dialogue rings true, and the right wing, Christian family never does anything you wouldn't expect them to do. Or yourself to do, if you were in this situation.

I also want to take a moment to talk about the remake. Alexandre Aja's 2006 remake is actually one of the better efforts in this horrible onslaught of unoriginality. It's certainly glossier, and isn't quite the gutpunch the original is, but it's a great movie in its own right. I also kind of prefer the relationship between the father and son in law in the remake as well. They establish the difference between the right wing gun toting father, and the liberal, pacifist son in just the right way to make the son's descent into violence all the more tragic. It's worth your time.

The Hills Have Eyes is a great little movie for those with the stomach for it. Check it out and remember how great Wes Craven can be when he wants. Also, there are only 14 days left in my little project and my slate is filling up fast. Consider this a last request for requests. Any favourites or just something you think I should see, let me know!

October 16, 2010 - Mirrors 2

This is it. I'm officially past the halfway point for my little endeavour. I'm happy to say I've seen more good movies than bad, and very few awful ones. That said, The Rig is so bad, it makes up for any lapses. Fucking Rig. I also want to use this space that in the next week or so, I will be liveblogging all 6 of the Saw movies currently released on DVD. That's right, my review for the that day will be my notes and thoughts on all the Saw movies watched in an epic marathon of masochism. Once I hammer out a day, I'll let everyone know.

On to today's movie. I actually preferred Mirrors 2 to the original. But then, I really didn't like the original so that's not saying much. The sequel isn't that great either. A ghost is trapped in a mirror, wants revenge on the people she deems responsible for her death, and controls their reflections to kill them. There isn't much tying it to the first movie except the Mayflower department store chain, and the fact that the main character is a night security guard. Nick Stakl plays said guard, and while he doesn't humiliated himself, he doesn't look too thrilled to be there.

The reason I like this one better is the kills. Especially the first one. It starts off as a riff on the best kill in the first movie, but then goes in a totally different direction. And it wasn't spoiled by the trailer. It's got nudity, tons of blood, and brings to mind The Omen. The other kills are no slouch either. The effects aren't great, but they do get the point across, and very little, if any, of the gore is CG so big bonus points.

Mirrors 2 is a surprisingly competent sequel to a barely competent original. It has a couple cool ideas, but is hindered by terrible writing and boring direction. But that first kill, damn. I almost suggest you rent it just for that. I know this is a shorter review, but there isn't a lot to say. Better than average DTV sequel sums it all up.

October 15th, 2010 - Altitude

Altitude is one of the better Twilight Zone episodes never made. It's also a great example of imaginative filmmaking on a budget. It's funny, I was expecting this to be the low point of my weekend rentals, but it may just have raised the bar for everything else. Sorry Mirrors 2.

The movie starts off with a a family on a small airplane being flown through some choppy weather while we see everything through the pilot's eyes. The boy in the back seat freaks out about something he sees, and suddenly there's a nice first person mid-air collision. We then meet the pilot's daughter, Sara, who against her fathers wishes has gotten her pilot's license. She's flying her friends, and her boyfriend to a concert on the downlow. Naturally bad things happen. Mechanical problems abound, and there's something in the air with them.

Right away I noticed some surprising production value. They took full advantage of the plane at their disposal. Sweeping, epic, long shots are the order of the day right from the get-go, which only makes the confines of the plane that much more cramped. There's is certainly a fair share of dodgy CG and greenscreen work, but it was all thoughtfully done. Some of the stylistic choices seems odd though. There are a few odd shots that stand out like a sore thumb, and just point out how much better the rest of the movie looks overall.

The acting is also pretty decent. One of the friends, Sal, is played as too much of a jerk though. I didn't believe for a second that the rest of these seemingly smart, nice people would spend more than 10 minutes with him. Sara's boyfriend, Bruce, starts off as a bit of a pushover and pretty emo, but there's a decent payoff to that, so I can overlook it. The rest of the characters are likable and you generally want to see them escape. Though, I do wish to call an end to film majors in films carrying around shitty DV cameras and being obsessed with filming everything. No one acts like that in real life. It's irritating and at this point, we all know where it's going to go.

The entire plot develops a great Twilight Zone feel. I don't want to spoil it too much, but it goes in some weird places I was not expecting. It pays to be patient with this film. More than a few times, I was getting annoyed by some of the indulgences of the plot and dialogue, but it all worked out. That's not really an excuse though for some of the monologuing and contrivances that occur. The ends justify the means, but the means could have been better executed.

I strongly reccomend that any horror fan, especially ones who like Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt, check this out. It's a hell of a lot better than most of the pre-Halloween dreck. It's weird, and sometimes require a bit of patience, but well worth it. And the monster is straight out of Lovecraft. Win.

October 14th, 2010 - Night of the Demons (remake)

I'm no huge fan huge fan of the original Night of the Demons. It's fun, and sexy and gory, but somehow it never quite gelled with me. The remake is more or less the same. It has a bit more production value, and some cool ideas of it's own, but...I don't know. Something is preventing me from loving it as much as I feel I should.

85 years ago, Evangeline Broussard invites 6 people into her mansion. The next morning, Evangeline has hanged herself and the 6 people are missing. In the present day, an entrepeneuring young woman Angela (Shannon Elizabeth) has rented the house and is holding the mother of all Halloween parties. Of course bad things happen, and 7 guests end up in the house alone trying to survive and not get possessed by a group of demons so evil they got kicked out of hell.

See, that last part is almost enough to make me give the movie a pass. Demons so evil they got kicked out of hell? That's way eviler than the regular demons. Sadly, that's about as original as the movie gets. Not to say that parts of the movie aren't awesome. There is at least one awesome kill involving a face getting bitten off, and a fair share of sex and nudity. It's a pretty awesome movie to have playing in the background of a Halloween party. It even holds up if you pay attention to it. The acting is alright. It's probably the best work Edward Furlong has done in 10 years. Monica Keena plays a slightly tougher and less annoying survivor girl than in Freddy vs. Jason, and gets a pretty badass moment near the end.

I guess, if I was going to try and take a stab at what bugged me so much, it would be that it didn't go far enough. It had a great concept, more money, decent actors and a competant director. There are some really cool shots. But it played it too safe. The movie pushes the idea of hedonism in our faces and talks about how great it is, but shys away from anything truly shocking. Especially for a direct to video release. This is the realm of the unrated, no theaters to appease. Le sigh. It feels like a missed opportunity.

All in all, Night of the Demons 2010 is a fun little Halloween movie. It's a great rental, and might be a good addition to your collection next year when it's dirt cheap. It's fun, sexy and gory. Just like the original.

October 13, 2010 - Deadgirl

I had heard a ton of vastly different opinions walking into this movie. A co-worker said it was disgusting and terrible. One friend said it was pretty good and really gross. Another said it was just a shitty movie. Me? I didn't think it was that bad.

2 friends, Ricky and JT, are loners, the kind of kids that sit in the back on the class and don't have a ton of friends. They skip school one day and explore an abandoned mental hospital. In the basement they find a naked woman tied to a bed, seemingly dead. Being randy high school boys, their next decision is not the wisest. Or the most sanitary. Needless to say, bad things happen.

What happens is as gross as I wanted it to be. Pretty much every disgusting thing you can think might happen, does. They end up shooting her a few times early on, and later someone notices the bullet holes, and.... And that's not the worst of it. It's nice to see a disgusting concept realized. Especially after the not particularly graphic or gross Human Centipede. Pity that the movie itself is so haphazardly put together.

The lighting seems off for most of the shots, especially in the basement. It just seems murky. And the editing is terrible. Everything just seems mashed together. It all adds up to an ugly looking film. Which is a shame, because the script is decent and the actors give their all. Noah Segan, as the more disturbed friend, is fantastic. He starts up not quite right, and ends up a seriously deranged threat to Ricky and the girl he loves. I don't quite by the ending, it doesn't fit Ricky's character. Unless JT was right all along, which is unsettling to think about.

The entire movie reminded me a lot of Teeth, only not as good. It doesn't quite get that perfect blend of horror, comedy and taboo subject matter that Teeth got. It's still worth a look, though. You might hate it, hell, you'll probably hate it. But at least you can say that you've never seen anything quite like it.

October 12, 2010 - Poltergeist

Goddamn, now this is a movie. Scary, funny, unsettling, memorable, iconic. I can't believe I only saw this now. And it's the perfect movie to show children to give them a proper respect for the genre and a healthy fear of clowns.

I feel like anything I say would just be reiterating things most of you know by now.Suburban family is set upon by ghosts, their daughter is kidnapped and they recruit the help of parapsychologists and a medium to get her back. Along the way we learn about the value of family, and when developing land for real estate, it pays to not do things the cheap way.

The effects are awesome. I kind of preferred the more subtle work earlier in the film the gradual crescendo of all the little events was more effective at creeping me out then when everything was going crazy. Not to knock anything that came later in the movie, it's all great. I loved the design on the Beast for the one chance we get a good look at it. All the actors are great too. I could nitpick some the child performances but why? Also, Zelda Rubinstein for the win. Just saying.

I've heard a lot of debate about the real director of the film. See, Tobe Hooper is credited as the director, but Steven Spielberg was the writer and producer and apparently had a lot of sway on set. Honestly, it's a great movie, so I don't really care either way. But it does feel like a truly collaborative project. Some shots are pure Hooper, others feel like Spielberg. It was definitely a Spielberg ending. And I mean that in the good way, not the recent way.

I was more than pleased with this movie. Usually, when a movie is this highly regarded and it takes me this long to see it, I tend to think it overrated. But in this case, it deserves every nice thing people can say about. And it's great for kids!

October 11, 2010 - Jonah Hex

Alright, last time I stretch the rules, I swear. Jonah Hex is by no means a good movie, but it still deserves to find a an audience. Really, I jut feel bad because the entire thing feels like everyone came on board truly believing it was going to be good. It's got an incredible cast, some great ideas, and no one feels like they took the job for the pay cheque. It's just that the business side of thing took over, and slowly squeezed all the ambition out of it.

Let's start with the writing. Neveldine/Taylor have never played it safe. In fact, they seem to relish in going as far overboard as they can. They are the only writers credited, but I refuse to believe that they wrote something so by the books and bland as this. There are still a few cool moments, some truly awesome ideas, but you can read the studio notes as if they were on the screen. Stopping the movie for exposition, redundant dialogue, shoe-horned in love interest, no interesting use of his powers. Scenes happen for no reason, and with little connecting tissue to what came before or will happen after. Though, that might not be entirely the writer's fault, which means me to my next point.

The editing. The movie is barely 70 minutes long. And it's clear the movie they shot was supposed to be a great deal longer. Major actors like Michael Shannon and Will Arnett have barely 5 minutes of screen time. Nothing fits together quite right, it's like the trimmed 10 frames off of the beginning and ending of each clip in the editing suite. I'm sure whole subplots are lying in a can somewhere. And the fights are mostly garbage. At one point, Jonah Hex and his prostitue love interest are fighting bad guys and we never see how the fights started. Not to mention that for all the exposition they force feed us, very little is explained. I have no idea of the limits of Jonah's powers. I don't know how the MacGuffin works. Sloppy work all around.

Just like the effects work. This is the one thing I can't sugarcoat. There is a lot of terrible CGI work in this film. Nothing seems to be occupying the same space as the real world. There is terrible green screen work, and the design of most things is boring. Even the practical stuff seems cheap. Hex's scar always seems about to start peeling off. The movie itself isn't that badly shot. Boring, but competent. With some practice, I can see the director making some decent low budget action in the future.

Like I said, the cast is amazing. Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender, Michael Shannon, Lance Reddick. All great people, and with the exception of Malkovich who seems bored, they all actually try. It's like they all signed on to do a very different movie then what we got. Even Megan Fox isn't terrible. It's a waste, which is the worst thing I can say about the film.

I know it must feel like I'm tearing this movie apart, but only because it's frustrating to see a movie that could be great get gutted in post. Jonah Hex should have been a better than average supernatural Western. What we got is frustrated mess, but one that's fascinating to watch and wonder what if?

October 10, 2010 - How To Train Your Dragon

It has dragons. Dragons are monsters. Monsters are horror. It's my blog, so my rules. Also, the story takes a couple surprisingly dark turns along the way, so it's not a total stretch.

This is a pretty awesome movie. Probably the best non-Pixar animated movie since Kung Fu Panda. Which reminds me, when did Dreamworks start getting good? I still associate them with Shark Tale and beating the Shrek horse to hamburger. HTTYD just proves this wrong in every scene. Jay Baruchel voices Hiccup, the wimpy son of the chief who is more brains and imagination than brawn. After an invention knocks out a very rare dragon thought to be uncatchable, he finds himself unable to kill it and nurses it back to health. Eventually he's found out, difficult decisions are made and both father and son learn to accept the other in their own ways.

The action is incredible. WB should have gotten the directors on board for their new Superman reboot, because these guys get how freaking awesome flying is. There is a joy in all the flight scenes that's infectious. It also doesn't play nice. Like I said, it takes some dark turns, and not all the main characters make it out intact. It's also funnier than most 'comedies' I've seen this past year. The characters are all relatable and the voice cast never tries too hard to stand out.

Bonus points for some awesome dragon design. There are several different species of dragon in the film, and they are all unique while at the same time clearly cut from the same dragon cloth. They also all have a very cat-like attitude which was neat and adorable. The human characters are a bit less fun, but do way more than the bare minimum.

Toy Story 3 may be the better movie, but this is just way too much fun. I can't wait until it enters regular rotation at my house and we're all quoting this movie ad nauseum. Get it for the kids in your life, just make sure you watch it with them.

October 9th, 2010 - Werewolf Fever

This is a pretty sweet little movie. I wasn't sure if I should review it at first, seeing as I may be biased towards micro-budget Canadian werewolf movies, but this is my feature and I'll do what I want. Plus I think it makes me qualified.

The plot is pretty thin, bunch of drive-in diner workers are terrorized by a werewolf and picked off one by one. It's pretty short barely 70 minutes, but its well paced, and has no filler. 5 minutes of character development, and then 65 minutes of werewolf mayhem. The actors all do a pretty good job, and made me not want to watch them get eaten right away. The gore is pretty sweet, and has one awesome gag involving a roller skate. The dialogue is a little clunky, but there's a couple of silver one liners. Most importantly, the werewolf effects are believeable and cool. The costume is all practical and very sweet looking.

Anything bad I can say feels like a cheap shot. It's looks very digital. Well shot, and high definition, but still with that digital sheen. It all feels a bit small, like a short filled out to feature length. But it also feels a bit rushed. I could have gone for a bit more character work, a second to catch my breath. It would have made the killing that much more impactful, because like I said, the restaurant staff are a wholly likable bunch.

It doesn't seem like it's going to get a wide release, but if you get any chance, whether festival or rep cinema or getting yoru hands on a DVD, pick it up. It's fun, violent and funny and a great example of what you can do with under 10,000 dollars. You know, besides that other micro-budget Canadian werewolf movie.

October 8, 2010 - Suck

One of the big problems about setting out to make a cult movie is that it never really works. You just have to make the movie, honestly trying to make the best one you can and give it over to your audience. Rocky Horror Picture Show was an accident, but people keep trying to capture that same lightening in a bottle. Repo! The Genetic Opera is probably to closest anyone's come to a manfactured cult film, and even that's arguable. I now present another example. After legit cult masterpiece 'Phil the Alien' Rob Stefaniuk tried to do it again, and almost pulled it off. Suck is a lot of fun, flawed as heck, and a cult sensation waiting to happen.

The Winners, headed by Stefaniuk, are a terrible bar band that can barely afford their last tour through southern Canada and northern America. After their bass player gets turned into a vampire though, their fortunes improve. Eventually most of the band is turned, and the lead singer must whether to join them and become rich, or turn his back on vampires and his dreams. Along the way, there are a lot of mediocre songs, and a ton of pretty sweet musicians having fun. Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, Moby, Henry Rollins and Alex Lifeson all turn up for amusing cameos. And Malcolm McDowell has a pretty awesome turn as a vampire hunter.

It all gets rather silly, we're hit over the head with some of the themes, and its full of that lame safe humour that permeates mainstream Canadian films. But it's does have a certain charm to it, and Chris Ratz as the roadie who gets stuck cleaning up all the messes steals every scene he's in.

It's not going to change the world, and I probably won't go to far out of my way to see it again, but some of you will love it. Give it a shot next time you've got friends and beer over and need something silly and weird and musical to watch. It's a farsight better the Repo!

October 7th, 2010 - The Host/The Blob Double Feature

I guess this is sort of cheating, doing two reviews at once. But I'm still doing one a day, and watching at least one horror movie so just think of tonight as a bonus.

First off was The Host. This is easily the best monster movie/dysfunctional family drama/slapstick comedy/enviromental allegory I've ever seen. Bong Joon-ho is a master of mixing genres and refusing to let his work be pigeon holed. Every character is well developed. The dialogue is sharp and realistic. Easily one of the best films of the decade, horror or otherwise.

The story is simple on the surface. Chemical pollution in the Han River has created a giant fish monster which wreaks havoc on the shore and kidnaps the daughter of our main character Gang-du. He's not that bright, and he's got all sorts of family problems, but he does love his daughter. However, the government believes that the monster is the host to a brand new supervirus and quarantines everyone who came into contact with it. But with the help of his brother, sister and father he manages to break out of the hospital they've been confined to and go on the hunt.

Kang-ho Song plays Gang-du, and if you know your Korean film, you'll recognize him. From The Good, The Bad, The Weird to a turns in a couple of Park Chan-wook's films and Bong Joon-ho earlier film Memories of a Murder, he's one of the best actors working right now in any country. He instills the dim Gang-du with a sadness and noble sense of resposibility lesser actors would have ignored. And I don't want forget the rest of the cast. From the family, to the bit parts in the military hospitals and even the child actors, they all pull their weight. Highly reccomended.

Second movie of the night was the remake of The Blob. I wouldn't nessesarily call this better than the original, but it easily stands on it's own beside it. I may be biased, seeing as how this was one of the first horror movies I ever saw, but I still say this is a great point in the aruging for remakes.

To be fair though, Kevin Dillon is no Steve McQueen. He's not even a Matt Dillon. But he does the cocky, juvie thing well which is all he needs to do. And Shawnee Smith does well in a more innocent turn than her usual Saw work as the love interest. All the other actors do fine as eventual Blob fodder. The script was co-written by Frank Darabont, which I had no idea was the case. It's a little less pro-hope (more on this in a later review) than usual but it's just as witty and intense as his later, more well-known works. The director was Chuck Russel, who went on to make The Mask, Eraser, and The Scorpion King. Clearly, there is a downward trend.

The effects are cheesy, but in that awesome 80's way, and the gore is inventive and plentiful. The ending promises a sequel that never came though. Apparently remakes in the 80's weren't quite as popular as today. I recall The Thing bombing in it's day as well. Le sigh. I'm here to tell you that this is one remake that does the original justice and deserves to be seen. Both of tonight's movies do, really. So get on it!

October 6, 2010 - The Wild Hunt

I wasn't sure how much of a horror movie this was when I rented it. After seeing it, I can say it's not much of a horror movie at all. It is, however, one hell of a movie.

Erik's girlfriend is a LARPer, or a live action role player. So is Erik's brother, Bjorn. Erik think they are both weird. But when she sort of dumps up and goes off for the weekend, he goes chasing after her. Once he gets there though, he finds out she has been fake kidnapped by a fake shaman and that he must team with his brother, the fake Viking king, to lead fake Vikings to save her before she fake dies. Along the way though, reality and the game sort have become the same, and things get a whole lot less fake.

This was director's Alexandre Franchi's first feature, and he is the real deal. He gets great performances out of his actors, who do not have the easiest job. All the characters, with one slight exception, are well rounded and interesting. They are all real people, who just happen to enjoy something many others consider ridiculous. And no one comes across as lame, or weird, or a parody. I bought the world and it actually made me want to join in. At least until people started getting fucked up with hammers.

The only problem is Erik's girlfriend Lynn. The actress tries, but the character as written is a bit wishy-washy, She wants space, she wants to sleep with Erik, she wants out of the game, she makes fun of the world outside of the game. There were a few too many character shifts for me to really buy. And her last scene was a bit of a stretch, though it did work in service to the story.

I'm thrilled that this got a theatrical release back in April, and I hope it finds it audience on DVD. Like I said, it's not really a horror film, but it is certainly a cult film. It's well acted, well written, and well directed and looks great. And the ending will stick with you and will provoke conversation. See it with some of your smarter friend and go for pie to mull it over after, this movie deserves it.

October 5th, 2010 - Hell Night

What a pleasant, little surprise. When I randomly picked a movie off my shelf that I had never seen before, I have to admit I wasn't expecting much. I had never really heard of it before, the cover was ugly as sin, and the only recognizable star was a teenaged Linda Blair. And man, I have rarely been so happy to be proven wrong.

It's a pretty basic setup. Fraternity/sorority hazing dictates that the 4 initiates spend the night in a spooky old house. Legend has it, the previous owner killed his wife, 4 of his 5 children and then himself. The last child was never found, and I'm sure you can tell where this is going. The four leads prepare for a quiet night of recreational drug abuse and pre-marital sex, and 3 of the frat members sneak in to operate all manner of spooky noises and effects to the snot out of them. The child, all grown up and named Andrew, decides to get those damn kids off his property.

In all fairness, this is a pretty standard slasher movie. All the archetypes are there, and you can probably guess who gets killed in what order. But that's all part of the fun. Even better are the slight twists to the formula. One character actually escapes the grounds, and failing to find help, comes back with a shotgun. And once he gets back, he manages to go to town. No traumatized survivor testimonies to an unbelieving authority figure, no getting killed off as soon as he gets back. The kids don't take to getting killed of one by one, and they do take the fight to Andrew more than once.

The film's low budget doesn't really hurt it either. The kills are not quite as spectacular as they could have been, and the makeup and effects in general are rather dodgy. The actors are a mixed bag, but no one really leaves a lasting impression. Linda Blair switches from sounded shrill to bored. Sometimes in the same sentence. The cinematography however, is pretty damned good. With the exception of some poorly choreogrpahed sequences meant to disguise the budget, the entire thing looks sharp. The framing is well thought out and often witty in an odd way, and the lighting has some great contrasting colours that called to mind Dario Argento on a few occasions.

The script isn't too shabby either. There are some facepalm worthy clunkers, but they're few and far between. More noteworthy are the absolute gems of conversation that happen every now and again. It almost feels like a Marx Brother threw a cue card in randomly every 10 pages or so.

All told, Hell Night doesn't have a lot you haven't seen before in some form, but it's done really well, and chances are you haven't given this a shot. Don't make my mistake, if you see it on the cheap, pick it up and put it proudly on the shelf beside Friday the 13th. Show it off to friends who will pick it up and mock you for owning it. Prove them wrong, and prove to yourself that bottom shelf videos deserve a chance like everything else.

October 4th, 2010 - The Rig

Fuck. This. Movie. I know I said I was itching for some terrible DTV horror, but this was too far. I also said that I was tired of movies ripping off the formula from Aliens. Ripping off Alien isn't much better. Some might even call it worse. Here are 10 reasons why you should not waste your time.

10. The creature was made with costume materials found at your local drug store. Seriously, it looks awful.

9. It's a 30 minute movie stretched to 94 minutes. There's more stock footage than a bad nature documentary, and some of the slowest transitions I've ever seen.

8. It has no idea who the real character is. And neither do I. The movie switches focus between two or three people, which means I have no idea who will actually make it to the end. It also means I don't care.

7. It's poorly edited. They actually fade out and back in during a conversation. Some shots are hardly on screen for a second before fading to black. Continuity errors abound and don't even think about trying to follow eyelines.

6. It's also poorly shot. It ignores the line of axis, and the entire thing seems underlit by a full stop. The action is all shot the same and it's impossible to tell whats going on. Not to mention some shots are just plain out of focus.

5. The acting is embarrassing. William Forsythe is the only actor of note, and he just seems bored. This says a lot, because I've seen him in movies almost as bad as this one but in those he's trying.

4. The writing is terrible. The writer tries his hand at Tarantino-esque banter but comes up with stuff that a student would have been ashamed of. A high school student at that.

3. What little blood and sex are there sucks. All the kills are the same and you don't really get to see them anyway. There's a bit of nudity, but boringly shot and not that attractive either.

2. I wasn't kidding when I said it rips of Alien. The drilling company is named Weyland. The logo is even a ripoff of the Weyland-Yutani from the Alien franchise. I wonder if Fox knows?

1. I'm just going to stop here. The filmmakers didn't this much effort into the movie, I'm not going to in my review. I'm all for people livign the dream and making movies. And I'm happy for them that they got distribution, but this kind of film just dilutes the market and takes the shine off of really great DTV films like Timecrimes or The Tournament. So I can't really feel guilty. That said, if you feel you must support them, then by all means rent it. By the looks of the end product, 5 or 6 rentals should get them their budget back.

October 3rd, 2010 - 30 Days of Night: Dark Days

It's about time. I've been looking forward to a truly terrible horror movie to tear apart, and this is the perfect one. Bad acting, terrible action, boring unoriginal story....it's got everything.

To start, let me say while I was a fan of the original 30 Days of Night, it was held back by a couple boring lead performances and some terrible dialogue. It's a shame because it's well paced, scary, and has some incredible shots. Which is fairly loyal to the source material. Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith's graphic novel still has some of the most amazing art I've ever seen. The stylized panels suggest frightening things well before anything happens. The writing though, is dreadful. I physically cringed reading some of the dialogue, and it told us far more than it should. It was a great concept, illustrated wonderfully, and undone by the writer's love of his own voice. And believe me, I know all about being undone by loving the sound of your own voice.

We weren't off to a good start when the pre-credits sequence just recycled all the best shots from the first movie under terrible, heavy handed narration. Then the credits rolled and I saw Steve Niles credited as a writer, and I got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. The movie never really got better from that point. Stella, the surviving character from the first film, is going around trying convince people that it wasn't a bad pipeline that killed her town, but vampires. Clearly this doesn't go well. Not with the public, who don't believe her, or the vampires, who want to shut her up. After a strict warning from a vampire lackey in the FBI to stop it, she meets up with some other vampire hunters and decided to kill the queen. Things do not go according to plan.

I've got to get this off my chest. Aliens is a great movie. It's number 2 on my personal list of best films ever made. But just because it was the perfect way to do a sequel once, doesn't mean EVERY FUCKING SEQUEL EVER has to take the same route. Stella doesn't want to go back, but a trained group with weapons convince her and they declare war on the queen. I saw this before, when it was awesome. It's not so much anymore.

Kiele Sanchez, taking over from Melissa George, sleepwalks through her role as Stella. It's a shame cause I dug her in Perfect Getaway last year with Timothy Olyphant. The rest of the cast are a step above Central Casting, but only a small one. Harold Perrineau and Mia Kirschner show up for 5 minutes to lend the movie some credibility but never get it back. The movie is drably shot, and the music is generic industrial nonsense. I'm still not sure what happened in most of the action scenes. The gore is dreadful, ranging from 10 dollar CGI to grape punch for the practical stuff. There isn't any really nudity to speak of either, usually the saving grace in a movie like this. The one sex scene is boring and just left me wondering for the characters thumbs.

To give credit where credit's due though, I did like how they called vampire wannabes 'bug eaters'. That made me smile. And the initiation to be allowed to become a vampire involves ripping someone's throat out with your teeth while still human. I've got to give them props for that, it was clever.

30 Days of Night: Dark Days is not the worst DTV movie I've ever seen, but it's close. A true return to form for terrible video sequels to decent original movies. Even if you find this one playing late at night, just watch infomercial. At least that way, you can pretend Zombie Billy Mays is selling you stuff.

What, too soon?

October 2nd, 2010 - Martyrs

Everyone knows I'm a fan of direct to video horror. I watch pretty much all the crap that comes through my video store at one point or another, and I've taken some flak for it. Now last March, we get this one single copy of Martyrs. I'm excited, I've heard all the film festival buzz. Walk-outs, people fainting, death threats to the director. I'm shaking, I'm so excited. And of course, someone rents it before me. But when they brought it back, I could tell they were shaken. I finally take the disc home, watch it. 100 minutes later I'm pacing my kitchen, feeling a tiny bit queasy. A film that justified watching all that junk. Finally taking all those chances paid off. So, the question is 'how does it hold up?'

Man, I remember this movie being way more intense. I daresay I was a bit bored in the second half this time. The concept is great. A girl gets kidnapped and tortured. She escapes and makes friends with a girl at the hospital, but is tormented by her memories. 15 years later the two of them hunt down the people responsible with a shotgun. After that, things get weird. I still appreciate that the story throws me for a loop more than once. Without spoiling anything, lets just say some of the deaths do not happen when I expected they would. The first attack on the kidnapper's family is brutal and effective. Some of the shots are terrifyingly beautiful and stick with you well after the movie is over. And I still love the extremely nihilistic ending.

That said, the entire thing is 15 minutes too long. The scenes with Lucie, the main character, fighting with her inner demons are violent and disturbing the first few times, but they just keep going and going. The same happens for when another character gets captured and tortured. The scenes that were shocking and uncomfortable eventually just meld together into an unpleasant sameyness. It's a shame, because it ruins the pacing and just makes the entire thing feel bloated. Then again, it's possible that director Pascal Laugier wanted us to feel numb to the proceedings, to put us in the villian's shoes, but numb isn't quite the same as bored.

All told, it's still a bleak, dark, violent horror film that deserves an audience. Most of it works, and works quite well. It just could have a leaner, meaner classic. Tomorrow, I'm going to watch another direct to DVD flick, only more recent and probably not nearly as good. Remember I'm still open to suggestions!

NOTE: My official blog is not quite up and running yet. I didn't want to delay the start of this, so for the meantime I will be posting my reviews on Facebook and my temporary blog here, interiorityentertainment.blogspot.com

October 1st, 2010 - John Carpenter's They Live

It was a long, hard process, figuring out which film I wanted to start off with, and They Live is one of the few John Carpenter films I haven't seen. Now I know this isn't a horror movie in the strictest sense, but it's got aliens, mind control and shotguns so I say it counts.

Like I said, I had never seen They Live before tonight. I didn't even know that much about it, except it's where Duke Nukem got one of his more famous line. The plot is this; a drifter comes to LA, finds magic sunglasses that reveal a huge extradimensional conspiracy to take over the world and brainwash all of humanity, and then kicks alien ass. It's not that well acted, and the script is not one of Carpenter's finest moments. Much of the dialogue is awkward and the pacing is wonky. The movie drags on and on for most of the first hour, and only picks up steam once Rowdy Roddy Piper gets the sunglasses. The scene where he slowly puts everything together and gets angrier and angrier and starts antagonizing the aliens is amazing. Then again, that may just be because I'm a sucker for the juxtaposition of black and white with colour.

The movie also gets points for having Keith David. He could read the phone book and make it sound badass. Mostly because it would just sound like a list of people he was going to kill. His first shot has him wearing a pink wife beater and he's still pulls it off. Roddy Piper doesn't quite embarrass himself, though I'll always wonder what could have happened if Kurt Russell was in his role. John Carpenter and Kurt Russell were the best director/actor team since Kurosawa and Mifune. But I'm getting away from myself. The lack of a strong female lead also didn't do the movie any favours. That said, the fight between the leads was one of the greatest hand to hand fights I've ever seen. It just kept going and going, until each man was barely able to stand. Then it kept going for another 5 minutes. Awesome.

Also, while I heard that this movie had aged rather badly which I don't quite understand. The whole divide between the rich and poor and the disappearing middle class seemed almost painfully topical and obvious. It's like John Carpenter predicted all of this ages ago. Though I guess better this coming true than Prince of Darkness.

All in all, They Live was a fun, but very flawed movie that should be seen. It's no Thing, or Assault on Precinct 13, but lesser Carpenter is still better and more original than pretty much anything else out there.

Tomorrow, my personal second favourite of the recent French Horror New Wave.

NOTE: My official blog is not quite up and running yet. I didn't want to delay the start of this, so for the meantime I will be posting my reviews on Facebook and my temporary blog here. interiorityentertainment.blogspot.com